Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Confessions of a Mere Puzzle Piece

I made a promise regarding this blog. I promised God that what I wrote would honor Him. I promised to not make it into a gossip column. I promised not to make it into a page for venting my frustrations when things don't go my way. It's not about me. It's about Him.

Well, here is the thing. Everything that we have been working on has been moving SOOOOO slowly. And I have been frustrated. I have not been content in my circumstances. I have not been rejoicing. And I have not been praising God in the storms. There! It is out! I have been thinking about MY suffering, and MY discomfort. I have been sticking out my lip and stomping my feet. Don't I look mature?

I haven't been writing because I haven't had anything positive to say. I haven't had any words of encouragement. Looking back, it almost cracks me up. Would you believe that miracles have been occurring all around me, and I couldn't see them? I was too busy looking at myself.

It really hit me yesterday about how blessed my family is. We are actually staying with a friend while we are waiting for all the pieces to fall into place for this amazing project God chose us to be a part of. How many people do you know who are willing to take in a family of four? And our host is being so good to us. God told him to take us in. And he chose to listen.

And God has been showing us favor wherever we go. I have run to pick up a bit for everyone to eat, and the clerk has smiled and told me he gave me a coupon discount (I'm not the cute young hottie that everyone gives free stuff to, by the way). We go to get the oil changed in our van, and the guy gives us our old air filter to us in a box marked 'merry early Christmas'. We know him, but I wonder, did God prompt him to do something for us as well? My van sure is running better with the new one! We went to one restaurant recently and it hit me. We have been to that restaurant more than a half dozen times, and have never paid! Someone else has offered to treat us when the check comes EVERY time. That is my new favorite restaurant, by the way.

And the pieces are falling into place. I can see it all around me. It seems like we have been waiting for months to be able to proceed with the survey and an actual contract for the land we intend to purchase. But I can see how that was moving slowly to enable us to be prepared financially. Now, new doors are opening in that area. As much as we wanted to jump in and get going, there is no way we could afford to proceed. We are coming across people who want to be a part of this amazing venture. We are coming across people who want to help. It may appear to be coming together slowly....but it is coming together. And much more smoothly than I could have imagined.

I need to catch myself when I start questioning God's purpose. Maybe you do too. Maybe the next time I wonder if He is listening, when I wonder if He is punishing me, when I wonder if He has forgotten me....maybe I will look away from me, and toward Him. Then He can show me all the puzzle pieces He is dropping into place, waiting for just the right moment to drop me in as a part of an amazingly beautiful puzzle.


Wendy M. said...

Good insight, Nat! I could learn a thing or two in this area, as well!

Love you!

Rev Colin said...

Hi Natalie!
Sometimes using your blog as a 'Gossip' page, provided that the gossip is good and not harmful, can be a good thing. Sometimes it's the gossipy items that draw people to your blog, and then they have the opportunity to read something deeper.
I guess that what I'm trying to say really is that as long as God is in everything then everything can be used for His good.
Just go as the Spirit leads!