I Hoe, I Hoe....creating a garden to feed the people

Well, with dance season over for now (yay!) we are home more and able to dedicate a little more time to getting things accomplished here at KC. We have been working on a garden. Hopefully, over the next couple of years it will evolve into a raised bed sort of garden in order to reduce the amount of time dedicated to weed wars. For this year though, we had to make due with what we have.

What we do have is an abundance of compost and organic fertilizer, soil that retains water, and space. So we set out to begin growing food to eat, to share, and to trade. We wanted to plant a variety of items to prevent frequent trips to the market for that 'one item'. We wanted to plant enough to can, freeze, and give away, but not so much that it would be too much for just us to handle.

It appears that I am having issues with moving my pictures around and my computer time is about to end. I will post more about this amazing garden with some new photos soon.

Here is what we have planted this year:

heirloom tomatoes

cherry tomatoes

grape tomatoes

several varieties of sweet and hot peppers

eggplant

cabbage

broccoli

carrots (orange and purple)

sweet corn

popcorn

lettuce (these didn't do well)

celery

pole beans

radishes

pumpkins

zucchini

yellow squash

cucumbers

sweet onions

sweet potatoes

garlic

cantaloupe

watermelon

rhubarb

shallots

various herbs

I think that is about covers it. Oh yeah, we did plant some trees this year as well ~ plum, pear, peach, and fig. Of course, this is a work in progress. Over the next couple of years our list will continue to grow. But for now, we should be able to start on our path to self-sufficiency and be growing our ability to feed people.

Alea's Illness

Sorry I have been so slow to update on what has been going on here at Koinonia Community. I have begun many times to write, but have been unable to complete what I start.

Alea was diagnosed quite awhile ago with severe abdominal migraines. She will go for days with abdominal pain and vomiting. She will be restless and exhausted, anxious, disconnected. She is fearful of travel, of sleep, of eating. She moves and thinks very slowly, and if you try to rush her, her anxiety level increases and she gets sick. She becomes very introspective and philosophical...in a very worrisome way.

These began when she was barely five. We have tried to treat them with medication. The meds did nothing. The doctors prescribed doubling the dosage of her medication and adding another very serious medication. Concerned with the way the medication made her feel, and praying for God alone to heal her, Alea chose to go off all medication.

She didn't have any problems for over a year. Recently they started again. Of course, she is nearly ten, so there could be a bit of a hormonal trigger occurring this time around. We have identified so many "triggers". I'm not sure they are triggers as much as amplifiers. Alea really can't have caffeine, especially chocolate. She can't have anything with nitrates in it, such as hot dogs or pepperoni. She has to be wary of preservatives and dyes in what she eats. Sometimes loud noises and bright lights can bring on an episode. Often fatigue, and stress or worry, or even a feeling of a lack of security can trigger days of pain and vomiting.

There has been research that has shown that a misalignment of the atlas bone between the cranium and neck can contribute to migraines. When Alea was five (right around the time the migraines began) she had a boy jump off some playground equipment and onto her head, splitting her scalp open. We had her neck scanned and her atlas is out of alignment (in the direction of the blow she received). So we began chiropractic treatment. I think we are onto something. But here is the rub. Every time she has her neck adjusted, it triggers another episode. That seems to point pretty clearly to the misalignment being a cause. But how do we get it back into alignment without aggravating the situation in the meantime?

Lately, she has been sick a majority of the time. It seems that the unsettled position of staying in the camper and all the running around town to shower and wash clothes, and all the running involved with trying to build a house aren't helping the situation. What she needs right now is to have the comfort of her own bed, with her own comforting things around her instead of in storage. She had the added stress of 'tech week' for two dance performances, and the death of a few animals here at the farm.

So why am I sharing all this information? Our family has been in survival mode lately. Everything has been placed on hold while we just deal with day to day living, worked around Alea's health for the day. Those of you with children with illnesses know exactly what I mean. True, we are not, to our knowledge, dealing with a terminal illness. But for day to day living for the entire family, it is no less disruptive.

We know so many of the readers of this blog are praying for our family and this project. I ask only that you redirect your prayers. Alea needs your prayers. We all need the prayers. God can create something amazing from all of this. He already has begun. He takes hardship and uses it to strengthen relationships. He takes illness and uses it to strengthen faith. We are completely powerless to help her now. But of course, when we are weak, He is strong. Please lift us up in your prayers.

Armchair Activism

We whine endlessly about the state
of our sorry privileged lives
our cold fries
our thankless jobs
we're hot, we're cold

we wake early from our soft bed
and starbucks made our latte
with milk instead of soy
we missed this week's lost
and didn't get a hug

our cashier gave us a look
as we paid for our load of food
after waiting five agonizing minutes
in line in air conditioned shelter
while a child dies from lack of clean water

another cries out from hunger
as we pound our fist in anger
at the injustice of it all
we throw words like daggers
that fall harmlessly to the carpet

eliciting no change
in the state of the world
but piercing only the ears
who had the misfortune
of being withing firing range

as the ears bleed painfully
from the force of our rage
we lean back and click the remote
to dull our emotions
with the next top story.

A Song to Sing

Lately, I have really tried to focus on the words I hear in songs as I hear and sing them. It is amazing how we can hear a song and fall into the melody without even realizing what we are singing aloud. We can sing worship songs and they fill us with a feeling of worship, without us believing the words we are singing. Even more often what we call 'praise and worship songs' are about us. They are safe songs that don't mention anything about Jesus but his grace. They don't praise God. They don't inspire us to follow Christ. They speak of our needs, wants, and fears. We rarely abandon ourselves to praising God.

I have found myself falling into the habit of disregarding a song if it says I or me more than a couple of times. But the following song is an exception. True, it speaks of me. But if you pay attention to the words, it speaks of reckless abandonment of self. It cries out against a lukewarm Christian existence. I think the words are beautiful. This is the sort of living that I envision when I read Christ's words about taking up the cross to follow him.

Luke 9:23 (Amplified Bible)
23And He said to all, If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself [[a]disown himself, [b]forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests, [c]refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [[d]cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also].

Start focusing on the words you sing. Are they the words you want to cry out when you worship your Lord and Savior? Are they words of praise for an awesome God?

The Motions ~by Matthew West

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

What Now?

I don't believe in coincidences. Do you? So when we were told that it appeared as if someone had flown over our land and dumped soil completely unique in this area, in only this spot, I started to wonder why. I wasn't really surprised. God told us to do something different. It only makes sense that he would select a unique spot for such a venture. But where were we to go from there?

We had a preconceived notion of what we were to do. God wanted us to feed people. He wanted us to combine our energy and our resources. He wanted us to fellowship together. He wanted us to be light and salt. So it made sense that we would accomplish that through establishing a living community, right?

What about the soil? What made it unique? We knew that God had most definitely sent us here. So we needed to look at the reason for this location. The problem with the soil is that it acts like a sponge and does not release water. It looks like premium clay on the surface but once you dig past the first foot or two it changes. It takes on a different appearance. Suddenly it hit me. I went to our county soil scientist who was laying out our single septic system and said, "So the soil retains water. That may be a bad thing for a septic system, but wouldn't it be an advantage for growing things? When we are having a drought and everyone else is having trouble growing food, we should still be able to grow? Right?" His answer? "Yes, unless you are trying to grow tobacco. Tobacco likes dry sandy soil." But we aren't wanting to grow tobacco. We are wanting to feed people! Food requires water to grow.

So there is one part of the puzzle figured out. But what about the fellowship and sharing of resources and energy? How can that be accomplished if we are out here all alone? And how can we do all this ourselves? And home school? With Darrell working a full time job as well? It all hurt my head to think about.

But we have learned something over the last several months. We aren't the only ones that God has planted with this dream. We have encountered so many people who desire to feed people. We have learned that others, as well, desire to live in fellowship. Others desire to share what they have so more can be done to show the love of Jesus to people who do not know Him. We believe that God will continue to send people to help make this dream a reality. Already we have people coming out to help who do not live here. And I believe that many hands will help to turn this place into the place that God envisions. We will, together, feed people. We will feed them common food, and we will feed them love.

I believe that is only the first step. I think God envisions a living community as well. But to establish a living community as well as a small farm capable of feeding people takes quite a bit of energy and resources. It will have to be done one step at a time. Quite honestly, if it all happened at once I believe I would be overwhelmed and possibly even give up. So God is going to allow us to feed people on a smaller scale from the start. In the meantime, we will get settled and have an opportunity to get this small farm set up and running. It will be built slowly. We may even have an opportunity to rest and enjoy it.

Why would God give us a job to do, and then tell us to rest? Because we are going to need rest for what is to come.

Ahhh! The Joys of Sewage

So many obstacles must be crossed when purchasing land and building a home. One of the greatest obstacles is the perc test performed by your local environmental health department. Often people locate the "perfect" place to build a house but find the land is not suitable for a septic system. The problem is magnified if you are considering building more than one structure.

Of course you can circumvent this whole issue if you purchase land in an area with public sewage lines run to it. Sewage is being run in this area, but is still a couple of miles away, so that was not an option. When you purchase land with the intentions of building in an area that will require a septic system, often the purchase loan will be contingent on a valid perc test.

The land owner from whom we purchased had considered developing this land, so he had already done much of the leg work. He had hired a soil scientist to analyze the soil, and presented a report and map of the land showing where conventional septic systems could be used, where alternative (aka. more costly) septic systems could be used, and what land was unsuitable for septic at all. We were set. There were more than enough perc locations to accommodate the eight or nine homes we were intending to build in this community. We intended to cluster the homes close together, maintaining as much green land as possible, and utilizing much of the unsuitable land for farming.

Working closely with our county zoning and planning department, the soil scientist's map, and our surveyors, we outlined lots so that each lot would include some of the land ideal for septic systems. Then we waited for it to stop raining so we could go to the environmental health department and apply for our perc tests. It rained for weeks. Finally the rain ceased temporarily, and the county soil scientist was being sent to analyze our soil so we could get moving right along.

We had to dig at least three pits per lot, each four feet deep, and four feet wide. We dug 24 pits to start with. The soil scientist from the health department came out two or three times and told us he would be back in another two weeks with a man from the state environmental health office that was coming out just to analyze our soil. He wanted us to be ready to dig fresh pits while they were there. So Darrell took the day off work and dug some more pits while both of the soil scientists climbed in and out of the holes and discussed their findings.

The bottom line? They told us that the soil on this property is completely unique in this area. They have not found any like it in this county and in very few locations in this part of NC. They actually told us that it looked like someone had flown over and dropped loads of soil just on this field. They found a location that had perfect soil...down the hill and along the banks of the creek. You never find soil of it's type downhill or near water. Of course you can't place a septic system near a creek. The water at the top of the hill looked waterlogged. Water should be running away from it. It was insane.

They denied all eight of our applications. They did, however, find one location that would be suitable for septic...but it was not on any of the lots. It was on the area we had designated "community land". According to the soil scientist map we had from the previous land owners, it was a septic dead zone. The county would approve a septic system for a single house only if we reapplied with the entire acreage as a single lot. We were told that we would not be approved to build more than one residence unless 1) we purchased adjacent land and it would perc OR 2) sewage was run to this area.

?????

.....to be continued......

Road Log

The first of the updates

Wow! So much has happened. A year ago this month we closed on the sale of our house and started pursuing the dream that God had planted in our hearts to be a part of forming a Christian intentional community. First and foremost, God told us to feed people. Hunger is a huge issue. Maybe you don't see it. You have food in your cupboards. There is a market within driving or walking distance. Your neighbor is there for borrowing a stick of butter. But hunger is commonplace in many parts of the world. In fact, if we looked closely, we would see it closer to home than we would ever have believed.

People don't just hunger for food. They hunger for touch, a smile, a caring word, a bit of attention...a bit of hope. God wanted us to feed these hungers as well. He planted a vision of a community that lived in close proximity, caring for one another...living in fellowship, sharing their resources, bearing one another's burdens, and sharing in victories. Such a way of living, He showed us, would provide greater resources for feeding the hungry in our greater community.

So we waited for Him to lead us to the place where this community, a community founded on the principles of 'koinonia', would be established. There are communities founded upon the same principles being established all over the world. People are hungry. They hunger for a different way of living. They hunger for true relationships. They hunger to live intentionally. Many hunger for a way of living different from the comfortable routine existence that they have been taught to expect from life. These communities have been planted to feed such hungers.

God led us to some beautiful land in Davidson County, NC...an abandoned farm. We purchased it last summer and have slowly been going through the process of bringing to life the vision of a koinonia community. Our family felt led last November to move onto the land in order to work and live, and begin working with the resources already available to us to feed people.

We purchased a camper, hooked it up to electricity flowing from an old abandoned barn, and our family of four spent our first night living here on November 22, 2008. Our time here so far has been challenging, surprising, difficult, educational, and blessed. I will try to catch you up over the next week or so on all that has happened in the last 5 1/2 months now that I have received the incredible blessing of wireless internet.

We are not truly 'roughing it' but we are lacking several of the luxuries that we had taken for granted throughout our lives. We are living in a 31' camper that contains a queen size bed, a pair of bunks, a sofa, kitchen table, and even a small kitchen and bathroom. It is just a little shy of 250 square feet. It is about the size of an average kitchen. We do have electricity and even heat and air...usually. The air is working beautifully today!

We don't have a well or a septic system. Whatever water we use for living or for watering animals must be hauled in in coolers and buckets. From several weeks of rain we were able to collect rainwater from the roof of the old barn in buckets placed around the barn perimeter. Hopefully before long, we will be able to finish repairs to the old metal barn roof, and have gutters to direct that precious rainwater into holding tanks. The hauling in of water limits our water usage, and we do have to go somewhere else to shower and to wash clothes. And hot water for washing dishes and face cleaning is obtained through the old fashioned method of heating a potful on the stove. We do have a toilet, but with no septic system...what goes in must be taken out. So we try to use the outhouse whenever possible.

We have nearly 50 animals here now ~ two dogs, two cats, two pigs, three roosters, four rabbits, seven goats, nineteen hens, and six chicks....I think. That sounds about right. So we have a steady supply of organic fertilizer to add to our quickly curing compost pile. And we are collecting more than a dozen eggs daily. And we have planted a garden of goodies. New little seedlings are popping up every day.

We wake up to the most amazing and inspiring view every day. It truly makes me desire to have an opportunity to start painting again. When I start to become discouraged or whiny, (which does happen occasionally) all I have to do is walk out my door and look around, and know that God is all around me, and I feel comforted. I am reminded of my purpose.

But the big news is that we now have a driveway. It was completed a little over a week ago. Those of you that have been here know what a big deal that is. Our way in was truly a challenge, especially with the amount of rainfall this past winter. Many days we had to park at the road and walk back to the camper a little over a quarter mile through the mud, hauling groceries and laundry. Occasionally we had to drive backwards in order to make it up the hill. And we had a little narrow rickety 'bridge' crossing the creek that some found to be a little frightening. That bridge was our biggest obstacle to building, or a well, or septic system. It had to be replaced before any progress could be made. But now a lovely (and wide) concrete pipe is in place across the creek, and a graded roadway covered in sand rock leads back across this beautiful property...all the way to a still pristine home site.

Life is good and God is great. More updates and some fabulous pictures coming later.

Warning!

Warning! I am returning online in the very near future. Some posts are coming!

(for real real ~ not for play play)

Astronaut Farmer

God threw one of those surprise gifts at my family the other day. We rented a few movies the other day. I just happened to pick up a movie without even reading the case. I just felt like I should get it. It was called the "Astronaut Farmer", and starred Billy Bob Thorton. Really, it wasn't something that I would normally feel drawn to. But I picked it out anyways. What a gift!

It is a story about a man who decides to build a rocket in his barn to launch into space, and the effect his project has on his family, friends, and neighbors. It is about a family that dreams together, and the people that try to shoot down their dream. See, this family hears about how their dream can not and will not work. They hear about the foolishness of their ideas. The hear about how this dream is going to tear them apart.

But this story is about how they stick together, and support each other, and continue their dream together...even through hardships. It is about the foolishness of the critics. It is about how dreaming and working together doesn't tear them apart...but how it brings them closer together.

Once again, God's timing is perfect. We have heard of the foolishness of building a community based on sharing and fellowship. We have heard it will not work. But we are continuing to dream together...and we are finding ourselves being drawn closer together as a result. Check it out and keep dreaming. Gotta go...I have a rocket to build!

Hugs from Jesus

I have to share a little story. It is about my hug this week from Jesus. Have you ever had one? That is what I call it when Jesus does little things just to show us that he is active in our personal lives. They show me that not only does he have his hands in my life, but that my choices are within his will for me. Even if you don't believe in Jesus, you will enjoy this story. But I warn you...it will give you goose bumps. You will see why in the end.

It all started Tuesday when I had a morning free of children. I decided to use the time to hit some after Christmas sales for some jeans for Kasi. She is hard to buy for. Very few places carry slims, and if they do, they aren't slim enough. But I found them! Great price-more than half off...they had plenty of slims...I was on cloud nine. I even located a plaid skirt for Alea and fuzzy socks for me, all at a fabulous discount. I headed out of the mall in the early afternoon with a ten and three ones still in my pocket. I was dreaming about where I could grab a quick bite to eat before heading home since I had been in such an excited rush in the morning that I had only had a cup of coffee.

I pulled into the line at the stop light and saw a guy standing in the median holding a sign. I see folks lining this intersection all the time asking for money, but this man struck me as how ordinary he was. He wasn't dirty or unkempt or wearing rags. He wasn't holding out a bucket and eyeing the drivers with hungry eyes. He looked completely average and his eyes were downcast and his sign simply said "homeless please help". No lies here. Just a simple plea. So I grabbed my three ones and resolved to stop and give them to him when I rolled through the intersection. Within seconds, my mind went to the scripture in Matthew 25. You ought to read it.

Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Matthew 25:45 "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

And I thought about the song "The Twenty First Time", and wondered...what if he's Jesus?

So I put away my three ones and pulled out my ten. As the light changed and I approached this man, I resolved to stop and place the money in his hand. I don't think anything is a more valuable gift than human contact, and all too often we are willing to give to people, but are not willing to touch them. I wanted to touch his hand and let him know that I viewed him as a man - my equal. So I rolled to a stop and squeezed the money into the man's hand and spoke to him. I didn't say anything inspirational or scriptural. I just looked him in the eye, spoke ordinary words, and travelled on.

And I stopped at Taco Bell and picked up a chalupa and an ice water with the money I had left and drove home. I didn't say anything about it to anyone but my husband. I only told him to explain why I came home with no money...and why I had eaten at Taco Bell. After all, these are things that require explanation.

You would think the story ends there. But there is no explanation about my hug from Jesus. That didn't happen until today. So hang in there. It is coming.

I went grocery shopping with my girls today. I was finishing a completely unremarkable shopping experience when I spotted something incredible and remarkable near the checkout lane. Razor blades on sale!!!! $2.50 off!!!! And me with a coupon for them!!!! If you choose to shave your legs with a quality razor you realize that they must craft the blades out of diamonds because you can only afford them if you find an incredible sale. I was facing a savings of four fifty with the sale price plus my coupon. So I purchased them - happy dancing on the inside as I checked out.

Now I have learned by experience to check my receipt before I leave the store. So I carefully scanned my receipt and quickly spotted a problem. My inspection showed that my razor blades had only been discounted a little over a dollar and not the two fifty that I had seen on the shelf tag. So I went to check the shelf again. There was a clerk changing the prices with her little pricing gun and replacing the shelf tag with a new, less discounted, tag. I explained that I had expected more of a savings. I thought it had been marked with a savings of $2.50. She showed me the tag that had just been removed. It seems that I caught her right in the middle of changing the prices. So the cashier took the old tag and was going to make the adjustment for me.

"Will cash be okay, ma'am?", he asked me. "Sure", I say, anticipating a dollar and change. I'm thinking what else are my options? He handing me my money. I glanced down briefly and in a shocked voice asked,"Um, excuse me. You gave me a ten." He told me that was right. Their store policy when something scans incorrectly is to give you back the original price of the item. So here I stood holding $10.12.

I was pretty chipper then but didn't think any more about it until I spoke to my husband. He asked the question that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to sit down. "How much money did you give to that man the other day", he asked? Ten dollars. And it hit me. Ten dollars! Jesus had given me back my ten! And with an extra twelve cents to boot. Not because I needed the money. Not because he wanted to repay me for my giving. He doesn't do things that way.

He gave me that ten just because he wanted to send a hug to let me know that he is here, alive and active in my life, and that he loves me. Because he can! I tell you, you can't outgive God. Try to sometime.

Now wasn't that a fun story?

The Twenty First Time ~ Monk & Neagle

Nowhere to live
Nowhere to fall
He used to have money
But he's wasted it all
His face is a photograph burned in mind
But I pretend not to see him for the twenty-first time

He sleeps under stars, it's all he can afford
His blanket's an old coat he's had since the war
He stands on the corner of Carter and Vine
But I pretend not to see him for the twenty-first time

He may be a drifter who's grown old and gray
But what if it's Jesus and I walk away
I say I'm the body and drink of the wine
But I pretend not to see him for the twenty-first time

She's 29 but she feels 48
She can't raise three kids on minimum wage
She's crying in back of the welfare line
But I pretend not to see her for the twenty-first time

She may be a stranger trying to get through the day
But what if it's Jesus and I walk away
I say I'm the body and drink of the wine
But I pretend not to see her for the twenty-first time

This is a call for a change in my heart
I realize that I've not been doing my part
When I needed a Savior, I found it in Him
He gave to me, now I'll give back to them

Drifter or stranger, daughter or son
I'll look for Jesus in everyone
'Cause I am the body and drink of the wine
And I'm thankful there's more than the twenty-first time

New Year Soap!

I spent my New Year's eve morning without children and decided to make some soap just for me. It is packed with all sorts of goodies in addition to my standard base of palm oil, olive oil, and coconut oil- avocado oil, hemp seed oil, castor oil, jojoba oil...even coconut milk. It is scented with black tea fragrance oil and anise essential oil, so it is one of those scents you either love or hate. I love it! My colors and swirls turned out so much better than I expected, I just had to share. I pray you enjoy the pictures and have a blessed new year!

Did You Know You Vote EVERY Day?

Do you vote? This was a huge issue just a couple of months ago. Everywhere I would turn, I would hear different people saying things like "vote for change", "cast your vote", "voting is a privilege and a responsibility", "vote...let your voice be heard". We all want our voice to be heard. We all want to express our beliefs. But how do we vote in our daily lives?

Do you realize that we vote daily? The choices we make in our daily living tell the world...and our government, what we believe is important. Remember those Nielson boxes they used to put in houses years ago? Maybe they still do. They would hook them up to your television and monitor what you watched. If you watched a program, they counted that as a vote for that program. If it didn't get watched...it got cancelled. Wonder how some of those crappy shows stayed on the air? Families with Nielson boxes watched them. Did your favorite show get cancelled? Nielson families, for the most part, didn't watch it.

I live in North Carolina, in an area that at one time was a hub of manufacturing activity. But now, as I drive down the streets of Concord, or Thomasville, or High Point, I see an expanse of empty buildings. The streets are lined with once busy factories, sitting abandoned and overgrown with weeds. In an area that once thrived with textile and furniture manufacturing, families are struggling to find jobs and many are living in fear of hearing the words 'layoff'. Why? Did we stop buying furniture? Did we stop buying towels and clothing? Did we stop buying beds? We had quite a few factories that made socks. Did we all stop wearing socks?

I have heard the complaint that American companies are setting up their factories abroad. They are shipping jobs oversees. But they are not taking the local workers with them. Why? Why would they abandon us? In a nutshell, because we voted for it. I hear protests now..."I didn't vote for that!" But here is the thing. The companies go oversees because they can make a product cheaper. They can pay employees less because they choose areas where the standard of living is low. They don't have the same safety regulations to follow. They don't have unions. They can escape pouring tax money into the local governments, and ours for that matter. They make more of a profit. They come out ahead. And the scary thing is...we buy more of their products. We really do! We don't buy less. We buy less expensive. See, we don't want to go without things, so we choose to buy cheap rather than not buy at all. But in doing so, we show our approval of those companies choices. We cast our vote.

We vote daily. When we choose to view things on the Internet...we cast our vote of approval...even when it is just out of curiosity or just for a peek. What we choose to view in the movies or on television casts a vote of our approval of the content of that program. We choose of what our next set of choices will consist.

When we shop at stores, we cast our vote for that company. When we buy products, we cast a vote of approval for that product. But it goes deeper than that. We approve of the business actions of the manufacturer by choosing to use their products. If they pollute, or do animal testing, or buy products produced by child labor, or finance abortion clinics, or lay off local workers to take their business oversees, we cast a vote of approval for their actions when we buy their products. We even help finance their practices with our money when we purchase their products.

We can change the practices of these businesses by our own buying. We can choose to cast our vote for better business practices. We can choose to cast our vote of disapproval for companies who do not follow a moral compass in their business decisions. We can choose to not buy products at companies that treat their employees poorly, or at companies where the employees treat us poorly. We have the power of our vote.

I know it seems like a huge responsibility. Voting always is. But we have a responsibility to the world we live in, and the people it contains. We can contribute to changing things for the better...or for the worse. Our voice is already being heard. Now let's work to actively choose what is being said. Cast your vote and make a difference.

Contemplating Stuff

I have been doing a lot of thinking...and a lot of praying. I am starting to realize some things, or perhaps God has been attempting to reveal some things to me and I just stopped to listen. We have been house sitting and dog sitting for my mom and step dad for nearly a week now. It seemed like such a blessing at first. A shower, a washer and dryer to use any time I wish, an indoor toilet, a kitchen, and hot water - even a driveway made of concrete instead of mud. I can even park just twenty or so feet from the door instead of nearly a half mile away. Does life get any more blessed? Seriously, we have no idea how many daily blessings we take for granted until we do try to live without them. I appreciate so many things more deeply these days.

But here is the thing. I am ready to give them up. I want to be back at my home - the land God has given to me! I miss it. I admit I don't miss the mud, and a few of the other things. I am ready to live with a few more modern conveniences. But if I had to choose, I would choose to stay in the camper at the land over comfort away from the land. Does that sound crazy?

You would have to stand there in my place and feel the peace that overtakes me. It is impossible to explain. God is standing there with me assuring me that all of this falls into HIS plan. He is assuring me that everything, even the trials, are for my good. He excites me with the plan he is slowly unfolding before my eyes. I feel him working personally, hands on, in my life. That is incredible! How could I walk away from that? How could I choose something as small as comfort over the enormous peace of knowing I'm in God's will?

I have given much thought to the community God is slowly working on forming. What is it's purpose? What is it's path? I know that God is using us to form a community that's primary focus is to promote fellowship and sharing. I know that he wants us to be able to meet the needs of our neighbors and people throughout the community. I know he wants us to feed the hungry, and that through sharing our resources and living more simply, we should be able to accomplish so much more for others with the resources with which he has blessed us.

But why? What is the purpose behind all of this? What does he actually hope to accomplish through us? I believe he has begun to tell me. It is SO simple. I really can't believe I have been struggling so hard with gaining understanding.

He wants us to teach people about Jesus. That is all we are supposed to do. We are supposed to go out and create disciples. But you reach different people through different avenues. Some people learn by reading. They will best learn about Christ through reading scripture. Others learn by hearing. They will come to know Christ through being told about him, through a preacher or a friend. Other people learn by seeing. Those are the people God wants us to reach. We will teach people about Jesus by living like him.

Jesus listened. Jesus shared. Jesus gave. Jesus forgave. Jesus fed. Jesus healed. Jesus taught. Jesus loved. Jesus participated. Jesus lived in the world, but not of the world. That is all he is asking of us.

So when we choose to live in community with one another...when we choose to share in each others victories and burdens...when we choose to teach, to listen, and to share...when we choose to give, and feed, and forgive...when we choose to heal, and love...we choose to live like Jesus. We teach people about who Jesus was. People will see Jesus in us. I can't think of a better purpose for our lives. Can you?

Exodus 9:16 But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

December Update

Merry Christmas my friends! Happy day before the day before Christmas. It has been so long since I have had an opportunity to share that I don't know where to begin.

The leaves have all fallen and the community land seems more beautiful to me bare and brown with frost coating the ground. It is such a peaceful place to be. I awaken every morning and head out to feed animals and take my time returning to the warmth of the camper. I just look about me in awe.

So far our progress has consisted mostly of adding to our animal collection. Our herd is now up to eighteen hens which free-range through the day, three roosters, one pig, four rabbits, two dogs, and seven pygmy goats. They are so much fun. I never thought I would enjoy watching chickens, but the hens come running up to greet me and seem to check in on me throughout the day. The girls have leads for the goats and love to take them for walks and even carry around the baby billy goats, Cody and Bolt.

And it has rained...and rained...and rained. I admit the rain has dampened my spirits as much as it has dampened progress. The lots have been staked out since nearly Thanksgiving, awaiting perc tests. But it has rained bucket loads, and the soil is saturated. We have attempted to get a crew out to put in the road, but the rain rained on that little plan too. So we have been slipping and sliding in mud. Most days we park the van out at the main road and walk through the mud and back to the camper.

Little things like taking a shower and doing laundry now take up much of a day as we need to travel elsewhere (mostly my mom's house) to do them. So we have felt like we are chasing our tails a bit.

Boy, have we ever needed to shower and wash clothes! All this mud. I think God loves irony. He takes someone with some itty bitty obsessive compulsive tendencies about neatness and cleanliness and puts them in a small space in the middle of a mud hole with no washing machine or shower. And we have to get muddy to get to a washing machine or shower...isn't that funny? One day we will laugh about this...one day very far off.

Yet we know we are where God wants us and take incredible peace from that. See, we have been unsure before, but now we KNOW. That is an incredible feeling. That means we will be victorious. And it truly is an amazing plot of land. I feel God's presence and can witness so much of his creation from my vantage point. So many trees...and the creek...and the deer...and the birds. I love it.

And our girls love it. They think they live the most blessed life. Oh, the stories they will have for their own kids one day. They also encourage me greatly when I lose my feeling of contentment.

We have to come up with names for two roads - the one leading in from the main road which will be dedicated for public access, and the one that circles through the community residences, which will remain private. We think we have settled on their names. The public access road will be Koinonia which means fellowship, sharing, contribution, and participation. The residential road will be Allelon which means one another, reciprocally, mutually. Both are Greek words from the New Testament.

Well, I must get to work on my tamales for Christmas, but I am house sitting for my folks through New Year's day, so I will be posting more while I can. Have a blessed Christmas. Enjoy your family and friends and tell them you love them. And relax and think about Jesus and the babe he was when he was merely our Lord, before he became our Savior.

Community Update

Long time...no blog....

Time for a community update.

Today we are getting a camper set up to stay in on the land. We have reached the point where it is just insanity to try to run back and forth to try to accomplish anything and just need to be there full time. It is going to take us a few days to get set up though. There is power run to the barn now, but no outlets to plug into. That needs to be taken care of. The nights here have been rather chilly and I don't want to wake up to below freezing temperatures every morning in a camper. I know..where is my sense of adventure. Have no doubt I have already been on an adventure. Our water use will be limited to what can be stored in the tank as we have not yet dug a well or had county water run to the land. But we know that God is going to bless every moment we spend there.

We have chosen a layout for the lots. All of the lots are between nearly 3/4 acre and 1 1/4 acre. There are eight of them. There is a circular area in the middle of the field of about a half acre which will comprise a community park area. Around this circle will be the residential road, around which the lots are situated. All the houses will face this park area (and each other). All of the area which is currently being leased to purchase will be community land and will contain the garden, orchard, barn and pasture land, and community house.

There is so much to be done, but it is becoming very real. We meet with our first builder Monday and are planning meetings with at least two more. The surveyors are going to head out and put up stakes to designate boundary lines. Then we will be able to get the health department out there to do the perc tests. Then......a well! Then we won't have to head to mom's house to shower. Woo hoo!

I just wish you could see the multitude of confirmations God has sent our way. This is most definitely what he desires for us to do. It's not easy. I does take sacrifice. But he is creating something absolutely amazing, and allowing us to be a part of it.

We have a few purposes at the forefront of this project. We want to promote fellowship because fellowship with each other not only encourages us on this journey, but it makes our lives more meaningful. But even more importantly, it strengthens the bonds of our fellowship with our God. He created us for himself. We want to grow closer to him. Secondly, we want to promote sharing because sharing is the key to abundance...an abundant life, abundant relationships, and an abundant heart. Truly understanding that God is the owner of our possessions changes how we view things. It shuffles the priorities in our lives and frees us from bondage to stuff. Lastly, we simply want to feed the hungry. We intend to grow food for a dual purpose. We want to use it to feed the hungry, and to feed ourselves so that we can direct the money God has given us to govern into different areas. We want to be able to leverage our resources for something, not just use it to meet our own needs.

So many people are in a panic over the state of the economy. Their retirement funds are quickly disappearing. The price of living is rising. Well-paying jobs are becoming harder to find. How will we survive? Not by trying to find a way to make more money to fund their current lifestyle, I assure you. But by standing in unity we will survive. By sharing our resources, and living more simply, and by giving away to those in need. We will not only survive, but we will live in abundance, blessed with a heart overflowing with love and thankfulness.

I will be offline temporarily once we get moved to the land...until we get wireless service. I'm not so sure that is a priority though, so for now...good day.

Hate and Anger ~ A Dangerous Pairing

Hate and anger - have you ever seen them paired together? Sure you have. They are the automatic response of many of us when we have been wronged. They are the automatic response of many of us when we have a preconceived notion of the way things ought to be...and they aren't. They are the automatic response to other hate and anger.

But Jesus told us to be different. He told us to respond to people's anger and hatred with love.

Matthew 5:44
44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!

Luke 6:27
27 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.

Luke 6:35
35 “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.

Why would he do that? I thought Jesus loved us as well. Doesn't he want us to defend ourselves? Doesn't he want us to ensure our own safety? I understand that he wants us to teach others about love, but doesn't he want us to be around to teach them? After all, we won't be around to teach about love if they kill us...will we?

I have worked in a juvenile placement facility and at a prison, and have learned a thing or two about self defense. I learned a thing or two about the most effective way to respond to anger and hatred. I would love to share them. When I first interviewed to work at the juvenile placement facility I was a bit nervous. I was going to be working with big, angry teenage boys, many of them gang members, and I was a small, young woman, less than five feet tall. Everyone was scared that they were capable of overpowering me. But true power doesn't come from physical strength. It doesn't come from physical control.

Back to the interview. I was asked how I would respond to someone if they came at me full of hatred and brandishing a weapon. I listed off my best street fighter self defense moves. My interviewer slowly shook his head and told me that the ONLY response would be to act calm and indifferent. He told me to lean back against the wall, stand on one foot, and fold my hands across my chest or stuff them in my pockets- James Dean style. I'm thinking he is insane. I am just opening myself up for a beating. But here is what he taught me, and after quite a bit of experience with such situations, I have learned that he was, without a doubt, right.

There is no more dangerous animal than a cornered animal. If you respond with anger and hatred and attempt to control someone who is already angry and full of hatred, they will shake off any remnants of coolness and self control, and come out fighting for their lives with fully unrestrained, undignified rage. If you do manage to overpower them...if they do appear to surrender, you still have not conquered them. They are still seething with anger and hatred on the inside, looking for another opportunity to rise up again and perhaps get the upper hand.

I have also learned that anger and hatred are like rabbits. They produce plentiful offspring. But their coupling doesn't just produce more anger and hatred. They produce contempt and disrespect. They produce prejudice and violence. They produce a feeling of righteousness and justification for sins. They produce loathing and they produce rage. They produce torture and they produce killers. But they must be fed in order to have the strength to reproduce. They must be fed anger and hatred in order to develop.

And I believe that is why Jesus told us to love our enemies. If we feed the anger and hatred...love....it never obtains the strength to produce any offspring. Love is the only thing that has the power to disband the pair. The only thing! Love is like an infectious disease to the darkness of anger and hatred. It eats away at all the darkness in it's path until no more is left.

Romans 12:18
18 If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.

Romans 14:19
19 So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.

See, love and peace are the only way to victory. I have heard people say that 'redemptive violence' is necessary. To redeem something is to recover it, to free it, to restore it. This can never be accomplished through violence...one of the offspring of anger and hatred. Because more anger and hatred, even justified through a valiant cause will merely feed the anger and hatred of the enemy.

I once had a friend who was a victim of domestic abuse. We would rally around her and try to defend her. We would strike out toward the angry coward she chose to live with. Finally she begged us to stop. Our anger only fed the anger of the man who was beating her, which led to more violence toward her. It always does.

If we think we are going control people who are mistreating others...if we think we can strong-arm them into ceasing their violence, their rage, their torture and murder of innocent people...through our own anger and violence....were are wrong. They are not going to say "Oh, now I see where I was wrong. I should be treating people with compassion" because the anger and hatred within them will only grow stronger, fed by our own. And we begin to create exceptions to the commands of Christ. We begin to see loopholes, and we readily step through them, justified that Jesus would approve of our own hate and anger, because it is for 'good'...it is for Jesus.

The only way to put an end to the cycle of anger, hatred, violence, injustice, rage, and killing through retaliation is to stop. We are supposed to stop and pray for our enemies. We are to shower them with love. I know it sounds crazy but it works. And not only does it kill the anger and hate in the hearts of our enemies, but it changes us from the inside. It starts to slowly change the way we see other people. It starts to allow Jesus to take over our perception of them, and we begin to see these people...these people that were once our enemies...as Christ sees them.

Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Ephesians 6:10-17
10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Redemptive violence is not capable of redeeming anything. Christ is our redeemer!


*Would you like to learn about the true power of love in the face of anger and hatred? Look into the history of Rwanda. Look into the present state of the country and how the present governemnt put an end to the violence. Love works!

Are You Disturbed As Well?

You know those big signs that so many churches post these days. They are often peppered with witty Christian sayings. I don't know who comes up with so many plays on words. Often I read them and roll my eyes. They are frequently too far on the corny side for my enjoyment. And often they are trying so hard to sloganize Christianity...and I think it makes following Christ look cheap and easy.

I saw one yesterday that disturbed me. I really could not remove the image of this sign from my brain. It said "November is the month for being thankful". Sounds simple enough. After all, Thanksgiving in this country falls in November. In my mind, I can already see their sign for December..."December is the month for giving". As if such enormous things and thanking God and giving to his people can just be checked off the calender and not thought about for another year. Why does this disturb me so greatly?

We are instructed in the Bible to pray without ceasing. In other words, we are to pray ALWAYS. And we are instructed on how to pray. We are to praise God. We are to thank God. And we are to petition God. So the way I see it...maybe I'm wrong...we are to THANK God without ceasing. We are to thank him ALWAYS! Not merely on Thanksgiving, but every month, every week, and every day.

I am thankful for life and the ability to use my life to serve...to give my life meaning. I am thankful for my family...they brighten my day, and comfort me. I am thankful that God loves me even when I am unlovable...because I am often unlovable. I am thankful for Jesus...because he truly saved me. I am thankful for creation. I am thankful for art. I am thankful that God meets all my needs and still throws in some of my wants. I am thankful for the laughter of little girls. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for a warm home. I am thankful for people willing to share what they have with others. I am thankful that I am not the one in control. I am thankful that others are more interested in politics than I...because I don't want the responsibility of running this country. I am thankful for peace...and long for more of it. I am thankful for the people who God places in my path daily who give me a reason to smile. I am thankful for music, and the ability to hear everything from the sounds of birds chirping to bluegrass music. I am thankful for sight to see beauty all around me. I am thankful for the changing of the seasons. I am thankful for love and passion. I am thankful for tears. I am thankful for compassion. I am thankful for healing. I am thankful for a purpose, and for opportunities to serve that purpose. I am thankful for the kind words of a stranger. I am thankful for the opportunity to share a smile with a scornful stranger. I am thankful for pain, because it means I can feel. I am thankful for the silent peace of snow. I am thankful for food and that I have not only enough to not go hungry, but a variety to enjoy. I am thankful for hugs and I am thankful for words of encouragement...they are the most valuable of possessions. I am thankful for trials, because they give me the opportunity to emerge triumphant. I am thankful for freedom which my God has blessed me with. I am thankful for the smell of horses and of dry wild grass. I am thankful for my husband who believes I am beautiful and wonderful...when I am far from either. I am thankful for silliness. I am thankful that God has created ticks and mosquitoes for a purpose...even if I haven't discovered it yet. I am thankful that one day we can sit around and chit chat...and he can tell me about it. I am thankful for laughter.

And I am thankful for all these things EVERY month, EVERY week, and EVERY day. May you have a blessed and thankful life as well.

Election Time

It seems that of people are putting their faith for the future of our nation in who is elected for president. People believe that the policies they intend to enact will make or break the moral well-being of this country. The future of this country lies in the hearts of individuals. We are capable of making this country a better place and it's leadership is in the hands of our true leader, our God. I realize that it is important to see where the candidates belief system lies in order to get a better understanding of their character. However, if you believe that a president can enact a policy that will make or break the moral fiber of the people of this country, you are deceiving yourselves.

So many Christians in this country seem to direct their energies into such activities as the non legalization of abortion. I have to be honest with you- I don't agree with the killing of unborn babies. Go ahead and have the baby and I will find someone who will adopt it. As a matter of fact, I will adopt a few myself. But I don't believe that our energies are directed in a manner that actually eliminates abortion. Making it illegal will not eradicate the problem. True change can only exist when you change the hearts of the individuals. Once you change the hearts of the individuals, they will not do something regardless of whether it is legal or illegal.

Same goes for gun control and so many other issues. We can enact laws and policies until we can't possibly keep track of them all. But they will not truly be effective until we begin to change the hearts of people. When we get them to truly understand that God is real, and that He loves us all, and that He wants us to love our neighbor as ourselves...when our greatest desire becomes to please him...then these laws become unnecessary.

So why do we direct our energies on who is planning on enacting what laws, and not on changing the hearts of our neighbors? Get out there and change some hearts people! Go love some folks. "You must be the change you want to see in the world. " Mahatma Gandhi.

Where oh where has Koinonia gone? Where oh where could she be?

Sorry for my incredible slackness in writing. I just may be that way for awhile. I haven't even read what anyone else has written in weeks. It seems that planning for community left me for a little more time for writing than actually creating community has permitted. Sorry! We really do have some cool stuff going on, and some nifty pictures to boot.

We have the land and have moved our pet 'dog in the body of a pig', Sweet Pea, into a stall in the barn until we can get some fencing up. She is very lonely and in need of some friends. We really want to get the fencing up so we can supply her with some. I have my eye on this adorable little pony and pray that he is still available when the fencing is up and God has provided the funds.

We have been refurbishing the barn, and cutting down trees, and hauling limbs. We have a huge brush pile and lots of firewood. I spent over two hours today digging a pit for the outhouse with Alea's enormous help, while Darrell cut and nailed boards for the walls. We should have it completed and set up tomorrow.

There is electricity run to the old barn. The meter is still there as well. Seems though that you can't get power turned on without an inspection from the city if power has been turned off longer than six months, and it has been off way longer than that. So we are waiting to hear from the inspector. We are also waiting to hear from the surveyor about dividing the land into lots so we can get the health department out to approve the lots for septic, and perhaps see about selling some of them. We also have to get that done before we can even think about digging a well, or purchasing a building permit of our own. We did complete all our calls about hooking up to the county water supply. That is now going to be a last resort, and only happen if we sell all the lots and one of our new neighbors happens to be rich. We will require high pressure six inch pipe running a very long distance. I don't see us investing that kind of money to run water that we will have to filter to drink! Lastly, we have to wait to get all our ducks in a row in order to get our construction loan underway and put in the road. Deep sigh!

So back to repairing the barn, clearing underbrush and bad trees, and watching the wildlife. With the abundance of persimmon trees, we have deer everywhere.