Gifts No Longer Accepted

Have you noticed that in this day in age in the United States you can't just give a small gift to someone out of the kindness of your heart? Recently, while at a doctor's office, Kasi, who loves to share and give, tried giving the doctor a small something. The doctor said that their policy does not permit them to accept gratuities. This is not the first time we have run into this either.

Last summer, our washing machine needed repair. It was hot. Our repair man was a big guy. After watching him get up and down off the floor working on our washing machine, sweating and breathing heavy, Alea brought him a glass of water. He refused, stating the same policy. (I did wonder in my highly sarcastic mind if he would refuse the gratuity of a payout from our homeowners policy if he had a heart attack while working on my machine)

It really makes me wonder what our society is coming to, when out of fear of lawsuits and unfair treatment, people are not permitted to accept a kindness from another. Where do you have to look to see and learn about unconditional love? What lesson are my children learning when their kindnesses are repeatedly refused? Will they keep trying to issue them, or just quit trying?

This problem seems to be limited mostly to the United States. In other parts of the world tokens of kindness are accepted regularly, and a barter system is still in place. But we are all living in fear of being sued. We are a litigating country. People hungry for money and the 'American dream' will sue for anything. For them, winning a lawsuit is akin to winning the lottery.

And what about the barter system? This country was founded on the barter system. People without money could often purchase goods and services in exchange for goods or services they could provide. A sick child could receive medical care in exchange for food, or sewing, or some such thing. Money, although useful, was not entirely necessary. We have almost eliminated that from our society. We have made is so you must always have money. No money - no service! Which, of course, means you never have enough money. So people work longer hours, and take on more jobs.

What kind of society will eventually emerge if small kindnesses are eliminated entirely? If behavior is learned, people will never learn to be kind to others. Apathy will replace sympathy. We see stories in the news of people being in peril, and others just standing by and watching, unwilling to step in and lend a hand. We are feeding that type of behavior. In time, will unconditional love only exist for mothers and their babies. Or will that too begin to fade?

You hear all too often, 'you can't get something for nothing'. We, the skeptics, are always looking for the attached strings. Has it always been that way? Or is that something we have learned recently? A behavior that we have learned in response to all these policies?

In order to truly grow as a society, not in size, but to experience real positive growth, we need to reestablish a sense of community. And this will never happen unless we begin teaching our children, and ourselves, that kindness is a good and acceptable thing. And that there is more to life than money.